


Smash Into You

by jadea



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadea/pseuds/jadea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on the JP/C Sunset Ending</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smash Into You

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when people wrote song fics? *Cringe* John Paul and Craig to the tune of Beyonce's Smash Into You. There's a youtube link in the fic (where appropriate), so you can listen to the song while reading the last scene.

**John Paul**

 

I'm sitting here alone at Mobs wondering what just happened. In a span of five minutes I've lost my fiancé and possibly my relationship. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to move on and get married. I'm nineteen years old and I've still got the rest of my life to live. I don't think I could do that tied down, or maybe I just can't do it tied down to him.

I blow the air out of my mouth and sit there contemplating what to do next, when I hear a voice in the distance. A voice I used to know so well. A voice that instantly makes me turn around to make sure I'm not hearing things.

It's you. I can only see the back of you, but from missing you so much and after pining for you for so long, I know it's you.

_**Head down** _  
_**As I watch my feet take turns hitting the ground**_

My breathing becomes heavier and my heart starts beating so fast I can't believe I can't hear it ringing in my ears. I feel slightly shaky and I feel as if I could pass out at any second, but still I stand up. As soon as I do, you turn around and in my mind I'm thinking that you must've known I was watching you. You stare at me and smile. Even though were so far away and I haven't touched or even spoken to you yet, I feel myself falling in love with you all over again.

_**Eyes shut** _  
_**I find myself in love racing the Earth** _

You come over and sit with me. I find myself drifting off into your beauty and remembering what we once had. I ask you why you're here, secretly wishing that you'll say you're here for me, but you don't and a small piece of my reverie is chipped away.

Cindy comes over and asks me where my boyfriend is and I silently curse her for bringing it up. I don't want you to know. I don't want you to think that I've gotten over you, moved on, and thought nothing of it. I don't want you to feel as if you've meant nothing at all to me. You suddenly decide it's time for you to go. You stand up and I miss you already. I quickly ask if you want company and I'm grateful when you tell me you do.

We chat for a while when you ask me the question. _You do love him right?_ Do I love him? I thought I did, but now that you're back what I once thought now seems like it was just a ruse. I run out avoiding your question and you run after me catching me and telling me I that I didn't answer your question. The answer's yes, I tell you and even I can detect the falseness in my voice. I do love him, but I know it's not nearly as much as I love you.

I tell you I'm sorry, but you tell me not to be. You throw your arms around me and I want to touch you so bad I hesitate at first and take a breath so that I can fully treasure this moment. I wrap my arms around you, close my eyes, and breathe you in. You feel so warm and inviting I'd give anything to stay like this forever. I _just want you to be happy, y_ ou whisper and I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. You just want me to be happy and I think that's great, because right here, in this moment, in your arms, that's exactly how I feel.

_**And I'm soaked in your love** _  
_**And love was right in my path, in my grasp** _  
_**And me and you belong** _

 

**Craig**

 

_**I wanna run (run** )_

I'm standing outside your door willing myself to gather up the courage to knock. I talked to you earlier, but you wouldn't listen and insisted that we were over and we were through, but I don't think it's over and I think that you don't either. I hope you're just putting up a front and don't really mean what you're saying.

I remember standing outside your door so many times before. The first time I told you I wanted you, the first time I told you I loved you, and now the first time I'm confident enough to be with you. I want you back.

I knock and you come to the door. I don't know what happens, but it suddenly strikes me that I want you. I grab you around your neck and lean in to kiss you, but you forcefully push me away telling me that you want to go and see him. I ignore you and dive in to kiss you once more, but again you knock me back and tell me to get out.

_**Smash into you** _

I shut the door behind me. I'm not planning on taking no for answer. I know you still want me and even after a year I know it's still true. It has to be. I tell you what my year in Dublin without you was like. It was hard for me being there alone constantly thinking about you and what you'd like. Would you like the music, the food, the people. How can I run away from you, when you're in here? I ask you pointing to my head.

I watch you for your reaction, but your face shows nothing, except for a blank expression. The silence overtakes us and I realize this is an opportunity. I quickly grab hold of your face and bring my lips to meet yours. You're unresponsive at first, but soon you give in and kiss me back. I love the feel of your lips against mine. It's been a year and I missed the way you feel and taste, but the kiss ends all too soon when after only a couple of seconds you push me back.

_**I wanna run (run)** _

I try one last time and ask you do you wish that you'd come with me to Dublin. You hesitate before saying no, and I know you're not telling me the truth. I grab you again. Both my hands rest gently against your neck. _Just swear that you don't want me._ I say gazing into your eyes. I wait for you to tell me that you don't want me and I intend to walk out of your life forever, but you don't. Instead you put your hands on me and kiss me amorously and with all the passion that we once had. Electricity surges through me, heating my entire body and I know you feel it too. You break apart from the kiss and take my hand leading me up the stairs where I hope you're going to make love to me with every fiber of your being.

After our lovemaking you tell me that you have to go. You have to tell "him" that's it's over. It's always been you, you tell me and I smile. Just knowing that after all this time I still have a chance with you makes me undoubtedly love you more.

 

**Craig**

 

I'm on top of the world right now. You still love me and I've never felt better. I feel so high and I don't think there's any way I could ever come down. This is what true love feels like and I don't ever want it to end.

I think now is the perfect time to talk to Steph. I want to tell her the good news; that me and you are back on track. I know she'll be happy for me. I grab a bottle of wine and make my way around to hers. When she opens the door I greet her with a smile and a kiss before walking into the flat. I walk in and I turn around, thinking I'll be met with a smile, but instead a sympathetic expression crosses her face.

_Have you spoken to John Paul?_ she asks and immediately my heart drops. The tone of her voice and the look on her face scare me. I can't help, but to think that something's wrong, something must've happen to you. Anxiety rushes over me and it physically pains me, if anything were to happen to you I don't know what I'd do.

Ears closed

Steph tells me what's happened. "Him" your fiance's dead, and not just dead, but apparently he's killed himself. I automatically feel guilty. I wonder is it because of us. I wonder if you had time to tell him what happened, I wonder what this means for us and our relationship, but most of all I wonder how this has affected you. I know how you are and I know you'll think that you're to blame although it's nowhere near true.

What I hear no one else has to know

I know I have to go see you. I have to talk to you and see how you're feeling.

I don't want to risk losing you over this. It's been too long and I've suffered enough already.

I want to go to you now, but Steph convinces me that it's not a good idea. I give in, but I silently promise myself that I'll see you sooner rather than later.

***

I spot you sitting there on steps in the skate park. I can tell how badly you're taking things simply by how you're dressed. The vibrant yellow and green striped hoodied -boy I know is nowhere to be seen. Instead he's been replaced with a shell of the person you once were.

I slowly walk up to you and think about what I'm going to say to you as I take in your appearance. _I know you're hurtin. I wanna try and help._ And I do. If there's anything I can do to get you back to being you I'm all for it.

I wait for your response and without even giving me a glance you say, _I don't wanna be with you anymore._ It's that once sentence that makes my heart break. It's that one sentence that makes me feel as if my world could come crashing down around me.

You tell me that you can't be with me because of him. I sit down beside you and tell you that it's not our fault, but you insist that it is yours and just like I knew you would, you make yourself feel guilty.

_**Cause' I know** _  
_**That what we have is worth first place in gold** _

You tell me that's its over, but I know that it's not. It can't be. I've worked so hard to get back into your life and it can't end. Not now not ever.

I stand there dumbfounded as I watch you walk away from me. Steph says something, but I don't hear her. I'm focused on you, you and your retreating form. It's not over. Not yet. There's no way I'm leaving it there.

 

_**And I'm soaked in your love** _  
_**And love is right in my path, in my grasp** _  
_**And me and you belong, oh...** _

 

**John Paul**

 

_**I wanna run (run)** _

I'm here at Kieron's grave, squatting over the freshly packed dirt. I call his mobile one last time to hear is voice, the last time I'll hear it, ever. I need to do this before I can even begin to think about moving on with my life. I start out by telling him that I was at Carmel's wedding instead of his funeral. A deeper emotional, one-sided conversation ensues when I tell him that I wish I had been there for him, that I wish he would've talked to me and told me what he was going through instead of resorting to such drastic measures. I tell him about how much I love him, but doing so reminds me just how much I love you. _I guess something was missing,_ I tell him. _It's gotta be there from the start_. I did love him, I really did, but looking back I realize that I didn't love him enough, not whole-heartedly. It was someone else that possessed my whole heart.

I tell him I love him and hang up. I know there's one last thing I have to do before that part of my life, the part of my life that involved Kieron was completely over. I scroll down to Kieron's name on my phone and my finger hovers over it before I finally press the button.

*******

Later you come over for that long forgotten drink. I'm thankful for it though. I need to get out of the house. We walk up the pathway and I tell you I went Kieron's grave. I notice that your response is to tell me that you know it must have been hard for me and to try and comfort me with your words.

_**Smash into you** _

You place your hand on my shoulder and the electricity that shoots through me when you do so reminds of why Kieron killed himself in the first place. _Is it my fault?_ , I ask you. You assure me that it's not and soothingly run your hand over my shoulder. I don't know why, but you telling me that it's not my fault somehow serves to ease my guilt. It's exactly what I need right now.

We go to the SU Bar and immediately the conversation jumps to our relationship. You tell me how much you miss me and that you shouldn't have ever left without me. You tell me you've changed and that you know you want me, but I tell you that everything's changed. You tell me exactly what I want to hear and a pang of guilt rises in me because I'm loving every minute of it. I tell you that I would be betraying Kieron and what he gave up for me if I were to get back together with you. Deep in my heart I know I want to, I know that I can, but there's something holding me back telling me that I shouldn't.

_**I wanna run (run)** _

You concede, and tell me that you'd rather us be friends than nothing at all. I'm happy that you don't push the issue further, but I'm slightly disappointed that you dropped it so easily. We chat a little more before you tell that you miss me. I watch you rub your neck in that adorable way as you continue to tell me what it's been like without me. I tell you to go find your Kieron. I don't know why. I think I secretly hoped you'd tell me you don't need to because you'd already found what you wanted in me, but you don't.

All too soon you decide it's time for you to go. We stand up and you pull me into a tight embrace I assume will be the last for awhile. Stay in touch you say before giving one last wave and walking off.

I turn around and put my hands in my pockets, but I feel something that wasn't there before. I pull out a piece of paper that's been folded in half and realize it's a plane ticket, one way only. I turn around hoping to still catch you, but you're gone already and you've left me with possibly the biggest decision I've ever had to make in my life.

 

_**Smash into you** _  
_**Smash into you** _  
_**Oh......** _

 

**John Paul**

_**Head down** _  
_**As I watch my feet take turns hitting the ground** _

I've still got time. I hope.

I rush into the train station with my bag over my shoulder. I look and around and I realize I have no idea where you are or where I'm even going, but I know I've got to find you. I check my watch and look at the information. Your train hasn't left yet, but there's not much time. I can make it if I hurry.

_**Eyes shut** _  
_**I'm in love and I'm racing the Earth** _

I race around the station looking for your platform or better yet looking for you, but I find no such luck when I end up exactly where I started.

I look at the information one more time before I think I know where I'm going and I rush up the stairs. I finally reach the platform in time to see the train pull out of the station. I throw my bag to the ground in frustration and I'm about to break down in tears because I've missed you, when I turn around and there you are.

_**And I'm soaked in your love** _  
_**And love is right in my path, in my grasp** _  
_**And me and you belong** _

I can't believe it. You're still here and I haven't lost my chance at what could possibly be the beginning of the rest of my life.

 

**Craig**

_**Smash into you** _  
_**I'm willing to run (run)** _  
_**Smash into you** _

I notice you before you notice me. I'm surprised you're here. I was heartbroken when you didn't show up on the jetty. I thought that was it. I thought was over, but you're here and suddenly my hopes lifted.

I watch you throw your bag on the ground, obviously about to go into one of your little strops I find mildly sexy. You turn around, still out of breath and rush over to me. I meet you halfway and instinctively put my arms around you. You push me away. I try to speak, but you cut me off, holding up the ticket I gave you, telling me I can't walk back into your life and ask you to go to Dublin.

_**I'm ready to run, run, run, run, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh** _  
_**I'm ready to run, run, run, run, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh** _  
_**I wanna run, run** _

The conversation starts to quickly go downhill. You tell me you were over me. You tell me I've ruined everything. I tell you I'm sorry, but you continue to talk about how much hurt I seem to have caused you.

You tell me more about how I've hurt you, and you tell me that you want to say one more thing before I walk out of your life forever. I brace myself for the worst, but it never comes. Instead I’m met with the most wonderful words I think I've ever heard.

_I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world._

_What?_ I say. I can hardly believe what you've just told me. You tell me that you love me and I can't help, but to be overjoyed. I realize that I don't care where we are and I don't care who's watching, all that I know is that I have to feel your lips on mine.

I dive in without warning and kiss you. Nothing too elaborate, but a kiss that leaks just as much passion as any other.

_I love you John Paul McQueen_.

_Why wouldn't ya?_

I grab ahold of your hand and we walk onto the train together. This is the best moment of my life. You've finally given me my second chance and the feeling of your hand in mine gives me all the proof that I need.

 

_**Smash into you** _  
_**I'm willing to run (run)** _  
_**Smash into you** _

 

**Craig**

I can’t believe it. I'm here with you, finally after a year. So long, I wanted to be with you and be able to hold you in my arms once more, and I'm here, with you, and there's no better feeling in the world.

We're here in the living room hand in hand. We're not saying anything, there's nothing but silence surrounding us. We don't need words. No words can describe how we feel right now, no sentence, phrase, or utterance could do us justice.

I allow your hand to slip from mine. I walk behind you, wrap my arms around your waist and place my chin on your shoulder. I love you for being here, I whisper into your ear.

You turn around in my embrace and kiss me on the forehead. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.

You touch your lips to mine and I know that this is real. It's not a dream. You really are here with me and I've never wanted anything more.

I take your hand once more and lead you the bedroom. Once we're there, I turn around to face you and take both your hands in mine. Intertwining our fingers, I pull you close to me and kiss your nose. You smile shyly and look down. I lift up your chin and kiss you lightly on the lips. I pull back only about a fraction of an inch so that my lips are almost brushing your's and I can feel your breath on my face. I whisper, _I want you_.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tqM7cNgOGA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tqM7cNgOGA)

I look up and into your eyes. Gone is the sparkling blue I love so much. It's replaced with darkness, lust and desire. I love this even more.

You take control and push me back towards the bed until the back of my knees hit against it. You slowly undo the buttons on my cardi one by one. I watch as your hands slide lower and lower releasing each one from its hole. You slide my cardi from my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

You take your hands and slide them underneath my t shirt rubbing at the skin you find there. You inch your hand up slowly to my chest and slide your hand over my nipples. You reach your other hand under my shirt and repeat the process, but this slow teasing is frustrating me. We can do that once our clothes are off.

I take your hands away and my fingers instantly meet with the bottom hem of your shirt. I quickly pull it over your head and throw it across the room not caring where it lands. I take in the sight of your pale body before me and slide my hands down your chest and stomach to your jeans. I undo your belt and reach for your zip. Once it's undone I yank your pants from your waist and allow them to fall to the floor around your ankles. I turn us around and push you back on the bed. I take your shoes and socks off and pull your pants over your feet. I stand up and quickly remove the rest of my clothing, including my underwear. Now it's your turn.

I crawl on top of you and immediately start kissing and nipping at your neck. I move lower and lower until I reach the waistband of your boxers and slip my fingertips underneath them. I pull them down and you lift your hips up off the bed so that I can pull them all the way down.

Your cock springs free and I can't help but to dive in and devour you. I take the head into my mouth and lick at the slit. Precum oozes from you and I use my tongue to spread it around. I deep throat you and make sure I lubricate you thoroughly. I let your cock fall from my lips and hear you moan in protest. I crawl up your body until we're face to face. My body’s pressed up against yours and I can feel you throbbing below me. The painful friction is making me want to speed things up and screw you senseless, but it would be over all too soon. I want us to take our time. I want us to take this slow. I want to revel in the feel of your skin against mine. _I want you inside me._

Upon hearing this, you flip us over so that I'm on the bottom and you're hovering over top of me. You look deep into my eyes. _Are you sure?_ You ask. I know it's been awhile for you. The time we slept together when I came back I was the one on top. I nod in response to your question and kiss you briefly on the lips. _Make love to me John Paul._

You kiss me. This time it's a long and passionate kiss filled with love and desire.

You break away from the kiss and stare at me, silently asking me if I'm okay with this. I nod once more and watch your hand disappear from view. You take one finger and gently push it inside me, keeping eye contact as you do so. It hurts a little and I try to keep the pain from showing on my face, but I'm sure you detect the discomfort I'm in when you reach your free hand up and stroke my hair and my cheek, calming me. I relax under your touch and when I do, you add another finger and then three. Once I'm fully relaxed you ask me, _Are you ready?_

_As I'll ever be._

You remove your fingers line yourself up. The head of your cock nudges against my entrance. You gently push in the tip and still yourself on top of me. I gaze into your eyes and wrap my arms your neck. I pull down on to me and whisper in your ear, Come on, it's okay. You nuzzle your face down into my neck and push all the way in. You lift your head up and look at me.

_That wasn't so hard now was it?_ I ask smiling.

You kiss me. You pry my lips apart and your tongue delves into my mouth as you start to move gently inside me. Ah, I say as you finally hit my sweet spot. I moan into your mouth as you rhythmically move faster.

I wrap my legs around you, allowing you to go deeper. You keep thrusting all the while never breaking contact with my lips. My body starts to tremble and I can feel the onset of pure ecstasy inside me. I know you're almost there too as you switch from long slow thrusts to short and deep. I tense up and I feel you do the same. You exhale into my mouth as the waves of pleasure wash over us both. I come all over your chest and stomach as you come deep inside me.

You gently bite my lip as you break the kiss and pull away from me. You rest your forehead against mine and open your eyes. _That was amazing,_ I whisper, breathing heavily.

I roll us over and kiss your forehead. _It was, y_ ou say. _But you're even more amazing. I love you Craig Dean._

I smirk and repeat the words someone I love once said to me. _Why wouldn't ya?_


End file.
